1 Thessalonians 5:16–24
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
Today is my rest day. My Sabbath day. I’m done with radiation and chemo. Tomorrow I will be “born again”…their words. Tomorrow I get new stem cells which will become the new foundation for a new immune system.
Right now, I am feeling the effects of all the fluids they have had to pump into me. I am retaining about 20 pounds of fluids right now, and it feels gross. Fluids that have been needed to help push the chemo out of my body after it has done its work. They will give me some lasix today (pee juice) to help me expel a lot of the extra fluids, but till then, I am pretty miserable and swollen (cankles, hands, and waist).
On top of all that, they informed me today that they have two put another PICC line (catheter) in my arm, to give them another option for fluids and such down the road. This is something I have been dreading, especially since the past THREE lines they have put in me have had to come out due to infections.
Beyond that, today I am thankful for:
- A wife who will sit in silence with me when I feel bad.
- God’s Word which is not silent.
- Prayerful friends who bring puzzles (Thank you Donna!)
- Good fantasy fiction.
- Soccer Sundays.
- The VCU doctors, nurses, and staff.
I’m equally tired, anxious, scared, fearful, and sad about everything starting tomorrow and continuing the next few weeks/months. Will I ever recover? Is this even going to work? Will the cancer just come back? I need a hope and peace and assurance in Jesus that grows increasingly unfading. Nobody loves me as much as he does. His body was broken for my blood cancer laden body. I need joy. I want to be prayerfully giving thanks in all the circumstances I find myself in. I am in desperate need of the peace of God. A peace that assures me that he is sanctifying me completely in all this because he is the only one faithful to do so. I am completely powerless in all this, and need his rest tonight.